Roller Skates
by Naisa
Summary: Merlin's invented roller skates. He thinks they're fun, Arthur thinks they're idiotic, and Gwaine thinks they're an amazing piece of genius. A lot of falling over and silliness ensues, and Arthur is really not impressed! Now a two shot, no slash!
1. Roller Skates

_This is a very random idea that I came up with when I discovered a man called John Joseph Merlin invented roller skates, and I thought "Merlin, inventing roller skates, really?" And this fic sort of emerged from that..._

_As you can guess, it's very silly, but I hope you enjoy! :)_

_It's set after series 4, so there are couple of spoilers for those of you who haven't seen it yet :)_

* * *

Roller Skates

Arthur was alerted by Merlin's presence one morning by a loud crash just outside his chamber. He gave an exasperated sigh, awaiting for the arrival for his servant, which took a surprisingly long time. Finally Merlin popped his head into the chamber, a grin on his face and a bruise forming on his cheek.

"Morning Arthur!" Merlin said happily, but seemed to struggle to get any further into the chamber, in fact, he was clinging onto the wall as if his life depended upon it.

"It's getting closer to the afternoon if I'm honest Merlin, where have you been?" Arthur demanded, "and is there a spider in the doorway or something that's preventing you from entering?"

"No, and I'm not afraid of spiders."

The young King rolled his eyes, "of course not, you screamed like a girl because of the unmade bed sheets, not because of the spider nestled within them. And you still haven't answered my question of _why _you can't enter the room."

Merlin glowered at Arthur, "If you must know, I'm trying out something that I've invented, but it takes a while to get used to." As if to prove his point, Merlin finally made a tentative step forwards, only to completely lose balance and fall over, feet in the air.

Arthur's brow furrowed at the state of his servant, who currently had less balance than when Gwaine offered to take him out for a drink (which turned out to be eight) on his birthday. Arthur was more concerned however, by the state of Merlin's feet. "Merlin, why do you miniature wheels attached to your shoes?"

"I call them roller skates!" Merlin said proudly, as he slowly managed to pull himself up from the ground and stay on two feet by gripping onto the bedpost with both hands. "I thought it would be fun, to glide across the ground, a lot quicker too."

"Well they obviously don't work, because it's taken you half the morning to get to my chamber." Arthur pointed out.

Merlin went a little pink. "The stairs were a little tricky-"

A flat surface was also looking tricky, as Merlin almost lost balance again as his wheeled shoes started to slip beneath him. "What sort of herbs would you have had to accidently swallow to make you think this was a good idea?" Arthur demanded.

"You know, Gaius said the same thing," Merlin said slowly, intense concentration on his face as he slowly let go of the bedpost to make his way to the other side of the room. He managed to move a couple of yards before his feet decided to lose control. In desperation to stay upright, he reached for the bed again, but missed the bedpost and grabbed sheets instead, which only made his descend to the ground a little slower and more comfortable. "Obviously it needs a bit of work, and practice," he admitted, as he tried and failed to get up again.

"You don't say?" Arthur strode forward and snatched the sheet from Merlin's hand. He wasn't in the mood for playing games, it was stressful enough trying to rule a Kingdom, and having a manservant that couldn't stay standing for more than five minutes was something he couldn't cope with at the moment. He was already beginning to get a headache.

His manservant wasn't listening through, as he was trying to stand up again. Finally he managed to stand on two feet, but was wobbling dangerously, his long arms flapping like a bird trying to take flight. "Believe me Arthur, these are going to be a hit."

A hit? "Merlin, this is the worst idea since you thought it would be fun to wear special shoes to slide across the lake when it froze in the winter, people could hardly walk then either, and some were hurt!"

Despite the King's criticism, Merlin gave a cheeky grin. "Yeah, you had to help Gwen walk home, you had to put your arm around her and everything, I bet you didn't think ice skating was a bad idea then-"

"Shut up Merlin!" Arthur snapped, which proved Merlin's comment to be correct. "What I'm saying is that your idea of putting wheels on shoes is a ridiculous idea, it's too dangerous, no one will think this is a good idea."

* * *

"Wow! That's amazing!" Gwaine cried, as Merlin demonstrated moving along on his roller skates, he was getting better, after a few hours he could almost make it ten feet before he fell over. Merlin laughed at the knight's astonished face.

"I made some more if you'd like a pair." Merlin said.

By the look on Gwaine's face, someone would have thought Merlin had offered him free drink in every tavern in Camelot, including the ones he had been banned from. Arthur buried his face into his hands in despair, knowing that one of his knight's had now been lost to Merlin's insane intention to try and make something as simple as walking an impossible challenge, and he really didn't have time for this, it was almost time for the knight's to do their training! With that thought in mind, he stormed out the castle and headed to the training ground.

Half an hour later, Arthur's patience was beginning to run out. He and the rest of the knights were waiting on the grounds outside the castle for Gwaine to appear so they could start their training. It seems however, that the Knight had been caught up in too much excitement with Merlin's 'roller skates', either that or he had already broken his leg.

Arthur sighed, and decided there was no point waiting around, they may as well start their training without Gwaine, at least the man was a decent fighter.

However, just as Arthur had made this decision and was about to begin, there was a loud cry behind him, and he turned to see Gwaine racing towards him...with miniature wheels attached to a pair of shoes.

Gwaine crashed to the ground just before he reached Arthur. The rest of the knights stared at him, while Gwaine leapt to his feet, a huge grin on his face as he tried to stay standing. "Sorry I'm late!" He said cheerily, "these take a bit of getting used to! It's when the surfaces change that are the trickiest..." He stopped talking when he saw Arthur's face was slowing turning purple with rage.

"Gwaine, what are those?" Elyan asked curiously.

"These, are a piece of genius!" Gwaine explained, trying to spin round on the spot and then having to hold on to Arthur to stay upright. "I forget what they're really called."

Arthur was getting fed up of becoming a leaning post for these insane roller skaters. "They're dangerous, not genius," he snapped, "take them off Gwaine, now!"

Gwaine looked saddened by this. "But Sire, these could be the new battle weapons we've been looking for!"

"I really don't think so."

"Of course they are! Imagine when we go to war, we won't have to run towards the enemy, we can glide towards them! We'll be faster, we won't have to use up so much energy, we-"

"Will look like idiots." Arthur interrupted, "we'll get laughed at, we'll fall over in the first thirty seconds of the charge." He turned and looked back at the Knights, hoping for some support, but they looked quite interested in Gwaine's wheeled shoes.

"I don't think it's such a bad idea," Sir Leon piped up.

Arthur glared at him, but other knights were also nodding in agreement.

"They'll be entertaining in the very least," Sir Percival added. "Even if we don't use them in battle."

Arthur actually stamped his foot in annoyance. "No!" He snapped, sounding a lot like a toddler who couldn't get his way. "I refuse to have my knights going around on these roller skates, they look ridiculous, and they're dangerous! It's hard enough staying alive when facing the enemy, I don't want to make walking a struggle between life and death either! I'm surprised no one's broken any bones yet!"

Unfortunately, the Knights seemed to have stopped listening from the word 'no', and were instead watching Gwaine glide across the ground in his roller skates, cheering whenever he almost lost balance but managed to stay upright. They then rushed forward towards Gwaine, exclaiming the brilliance of wheeled shoes and where they could get their own pair.

"Find Merlin! He's the genius behind all of this!" Gwaine exclaimed happily.

"Merlin," Arthur growled under his breath, completely giving up on his knights and storming back to the castle. His manservant must have been pretty bored when he made those, well, he was going to make sure Merlin never found himself bored again, and he was going to do his best in making sure no one wore those ridiculous things on their feet as well.

By the next day, half of the people in Camelot seemed to have created their own wheeled shoes, and were rolling around the streets, laughing and shouting, they didn't even seem that bothered if they fell over, which they did more than they actually skated.

Arthur groaned and barricaded himself in his chamber to stop servants and knights from falling into his room, exclaiming how good these roller skates were. He swore ever since Merlin tumbled through that door with those things, he had had a growing headache, and now the headache had developed into a full-blown migraine.

Arthur watched Gwaine out the window trying to attach some roller skates to a horse, and wondered if it was too early for retirement.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! :)_

_I also have another random idea that involves the Merlin characters and roller skates, so I'm thinking of extending this into a two shot, what do you think? Please let me know! :D_

_Reviews much appreciated! :)_


	2. Return of the Killer Roller Skates

_Thanks to all the really nice reviews I had for the first part of roller skates, I'm really glad you guys enjoyed it! :D I decided to do a sort of sequel for it, as I had an idea for another mad moment with the wheeled shoes...it's not that great, but it's just a little something I wrote for fun :)_

_Thanks to F.T.L Everdeen H who read this through for me! :) I couldn't really think of a decent title for it, so I just gave it a typical sequel title!_

_Anyway, I hope you like this second half! I'll just do a bit of cheeky advertising and say I've written some other stuff, Merlin and non-Merlin, which you're very welcome to read if you like, and I currently have a book on sale on the Kindle, which you can see more about on my profile if you're interested :)_

_Anyway, hope you enjoy! Please review! :)_

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Return of the Killer Roller Skates

Morgana gave a cruel smile as she circled the kneeling Arthur. She hadn't dreamed it would be this easy! The guards and soldiers were hardly anywhere to be seen, or to notice that the strange, hooded figure was an enemy, so there was no one to stop her as she swept into Camelot and stormed into Arthur's chambers, where he was sitting, doing some paperwork, all alone, too far away from his sword to protect himself.

Devastation for him and his Kingdom, a joy for her and her people. Who knew revenge could be this easy? Maybe after she kills him she'll finally be able to take Camelot for her own.

"Any last words, Arthur?" She asked him, her eyes focused on the sword which she held safely in her hands, it glinted against the sun. Should she kill him with it, or use her magic? Which would be more shameful for this silly little King?

Arthur was keeping as brave as possible. He stared through her. "I have nothing left to say to you." He certainly wasn't going to tell her that as she strolled, almost casually, into his chamber, a maid was passing down the corridor and spotted Morgana. She was already be running out the castle to inform the Knights. Arthur desperately tried to think of something that would distract Morgana long enough for someone to come and help. "Oh, have I told you about Merlin's new invention, the roller skates? They're insane, so you'll probably love them."

Morgana glowered at him. "Merlin, your clotpole of a manservant, is he still here?"

"Who else would think putting wheels on the bottom of shoes would be something intelligent and productive with your time? Nothing much changes around here Morgana."

A small smile flickered on Morgana's lips. He didn't know how much would change around here once she took over.

Suddenly there was a thud against the chamber door, it made Morgana whip around, but her magic was keeping the door locked in place, it would take a lot of strength to open it. These thoughts returned her confidence, and she gave another cruel smile.

"Your friends can try their best to save you Arthur, but there's nothing they can do to stop me now, I'm too str-."

There was a cry outside the chamber door, and then a sudden crash. Morgana and Arthur turned to see the door fly open, and Gwaine flying through it, heading straight for the witch. Not that he had a choice, as his roller skates still had the fatal flaw of not having anything to stop him moving, other than a wall.

"NO!" Gwaine yelled in a suitably dramatic way.

Morgana was just able to take in the Knight, speeding towards her on what looked like small wheels, before he slammed in her. She was knocked off her feet with a cry, the sword flying out of her hand and clattering to the floor. Gwaine lost balanced almost immediately after crashing into Morgana and fell to the floor after her. Morgana had just enough time to roll out the way, to avoid the Knight from falling on top of her.

There were a few seconds of stunned silence, where Arthur stared as a friend and enemy both lay on the stone floor, groaning. For a moment he felt sorry for the sorceress, after all, she was once very close to him, and she had just been defeated by a man on roller skates. But this was a chance to end yet another reign of terror from Morgana, without even starting a war. He reached for his sword.

However just then what looked like the whole of Camelot rushed into the chamber. Guards, servants, maids, he caught the eyes of his Knights, Gwen, and a clotpole (Merlin). They all stared at the confusion, and Arthur looked back up at them, about to sarcastically thank them for taking their time.

It was the distraction Morgana needed. With a few hushed words, and a sudden gust of wind which blew everyone backwards who tried to reach forward and stop her, Morgana vanished from the chamber.

There was a shocked silence.

Arthur was the first one to break the silence. "Gwaine," he said, "I thought I told you roller skates were banned?"

Gwaine stopped rolling around in exaggerated agony to glare at the King, "Well, you're very welcome for your rescue Sire!" He snapped, "and you cannot ban things as cool as this!" But then he winced, "Although my bottom feels like it's paid the price..."

Arthur sighed, but he knew he should be grateful for Gwaine's rescue. He offered a hand to help his friend up, which Gwaine gratefully accepted, but then fell over again as soon as he stood up.

"How did you get the door open?" Arthur asked as Gwaine decided the most sensible thing to do would be to actually take off the roller skates. But it turned out this was difficult too.

"Did a run up, or a roll up..." He explained, while desperately pulling at his shoe. "That's another good use for roller skates, picks your speed up."

"We all helped push him!" Added Elyan, everyone nodded in agreement. They all looked very excited about pushing Gwaine through a door.

However, Merlin hadn't failed to notice how roller skates had just saved Camelot, and a cheeky grin was already growing on his face. "My invention doesn't seem to bad now, does it Arthur?"

Arthur had a horrible feeling that Merlin was working his way towards another request to have the ban on roller skates lifted. "Not really..." He muttered, as he watched Gwaine successfully manage to pull the roller skate off his right foot, but was now having extreme difficulty with his left. Arthur still hadn't forgotten about the time Gwaine thought it was a good idea to attach roller skates to all the horses in the stable, and then watch them glide down the City streets. Surprisingly, the horses didn't seem too bothered. Arthur was though. And if Gwaine had to wear those roller skates all the time because he couldn't take them off...the destruction was hard to imagine.

"You never told me how you came up with the idea for these Merlin..." Gwaine commented, as he finally pulled his shoe off his left foot, the force of such an effort causing him to fall backwards.

"Err..." Merlin hesitated, not sure how to explain how he came up with the idea by looking into the Crystal of Neahtid and seeing a world where everyone was wearing these things called 'roller skates', hung out in places called 'diners', listened to music emerging from something called 'duke boxes' and driving around in horseless carriages called 'cars'.

That reminded him, he must try and see if he could invent that strange object people were also using as transport, it looked a bit like roller skates only the small wheels were attached to a piece of wood they called 'skate boards'...


End file.
